Business is full of challenges and change—often out of our control. Throughout our careers, it’s likely most of us will face difficult endings. Whether it’s layoffs, acquisitions, or a company going under, we’ll have major events to cope with.
When thinking about change, there isn’t a bigger, harder, or more certain change than death. Most of us don’t love thinking or talking about our mortality and that of our loved ones, in fact, many of us actively avoid it.
Our CEO and founder, Aram Arslanian sat down with Death Educator, Gina Vliet, for a conversation about life, death, change, and the importance of being prepared. Surprisingly, the insights gleaned from a death educator offer valuable lessons in leadership.
So what can we learn about leadership from a Death Educator?
Being prepared is caring for others.
Thinking ahead and preparing for change and disruption is an act of care for ourselves and everyone around us. As leaders we’ll face uncomfortable and difficult changes. For example, acquisitions are scary and create uncertainty for employees facing the change. Preparation is how we can ensure it doesn’t become all consuming.
Preparing for something inevitable like death brings the truth fully to light. Death is a massive life event that everyone is going to face and preparing for it allows us to get on with living life.
If we avoid from preparing for hard things, we run the risk of them becoming greater burdens for everyone. Avoiding the topic, whether it’s death or an acquisition, won’t stop it from happening.
Using the end point to gain perspective.
In the conversation, Vliet discusses the power of looking at something from the end point and working backwards. When you measure things from the end, from the point of death, it gives perspective. This perspective allows you to see and let go of the things that don’t actually matter.
“The benefit of acknowledging that we are finite is being able to make good quality decisions about how we do spend the time we have here on the planet,” says Vliet.
In our day-to-day lives, we often get focused on the trees and forget about the forest. When we’re facing a difficult change, that often becomes the only thing we see. By accepting the endpoint, whether it’s a job loss or a company going under, we can keep perspective. At the end of the day, this challenge is just a difficult chapter in the book of our lives.
Difficult conversations can actually be a gift.
Not discussing something won’t make it go away. Vliet encourages people to talk to each other about death and mortality. This helps with clarity when the end comes. While it doesn’t make the change easy, it does give the people left behind some certainty.
As a business leader, talking about hard things is how we help our team navigate change. When there have been layoffs, acting like it never happened won’t magically make everything go back to normal. Many employees struggle with disillusionment and survivor’s guilt when a large number of colleagues have been laid off. Let your team know that you’re in it with them and willing to talk about. The conversations may be challenging, but they are essential for rebuilding trust.
You don’t have to face it all at once.
Many of us can see changes in our peripheral vision but put off looking at them head-on. Vliet recommends approaching something hard like death with gentleness. We can start with the theoretical and philosophical and work up to how that applies to the change we’re facing.
When we’re facing a challenging change, we often aren’t just avoiding talking about it, we even try not to think about it. It’s important to recognize when we are avoiding or hiding from something so that we can address it piece by piece. When we allow ourselves space to contemplate the change and our reactions to it, we’re better equipped as leaders to help others through it.
Conclusion
Turns out a lot of what we learned from a Death Educator is actually about life. Life is full of challenges and using lessons from the biggest change of all can be beneficial to our leadership.
Check out the full conversation between Aram and Gina here.
Gina Vliet is the founder of Charon Consulting and took her experience in corporate sector project and change management and applied it to helping people manage death. Charon Consulting has learning offerings for change and resilience, death literacy, life hacking, and family emergency preparedness.
If you’re interested in training on navigating change or having challenging conversations, please contact us. We’re here to help.
